I remember being in love with the dance since I was a child.
I lived with my dad and grandparents in a small conservative town not too far from Rome. My mum passed away suddenly when I was 6 and the whole family was left in shock and chaos. I have a vivid memory of my dad telling me that she was dead (after more than one month. I remember also the confusion, as I knew something horrible happened but nobody was telling me what was really going on): he told me that from that moment on I had to behave and be responsible.
My grandparents were catholic, old fashioned and not really gifted with lightness or sense of humour. I didn’t like going to school: I felt in a cage and not understood by the adults.
Only now as an adult I am aware of the immense stress I was carrying in my little body and how trauma can be crystallised in it.
As a child, I found instinctively a way to cope, live and find relief: I used to dance like a crazy. I used to lock myself in the living room, put the stereo at high volume and shake my body until I was exhausted (listening to heavy metal music!) During my teens, I used to go to the discos as much as I could and as a young adult I started taking a lot of drugs.
There was something inside me that was telling me that I had a long road ahead to find myself, as I could feel a big sense of emptiness, grief and self-hatred.