I was introduced to a form of meditative journeying by a resident in my grandmother's retirement community. She approached me. I know she was at least part Native American, and that alone made her the topic of much gossip in the building. Her Rose colored lipstick, deep brown eyes, wrinkles that only helped illuminate her face and a chiffon scarf that matched none of her clothes. I thought she needed help with her groceries. She didn't. She had me stop the elevator. and directly asked about my looking tired. My response was about being, busy balancing all the areas of my life. In fact I was exhausted doling out time like pieces of pie.
Too bad ROFL wasn't used in 1978.
When she finally stopped laughing, I got a clarity of experience that has never left me. As she placed her hand a few inches below my belly button (my uterus), this is what I understood: Give up balancing...instead, Center - the point from which any and all activity or process is directed. She didn't use those words, but, that is what she meant.
I spent the following summer in San Francisco. Finding feminists was much easier there than in Milwaukee. I continued to do my mediations regularly and met with my new friends daily at a cafe. Some of them started talking about about women's spirituality. Even a Woman God. Nothing like the God we had known. He had a book, rules, and judgements.
This Woman God that had come up in my meditations. I had always been involved with spiritual practices and communities. Yet, they always seemed to fall short. The confirmation that God was a woman excited me. So, I went to research every library I could. And continue the thread of the Woman God. This became my summary...
She had birthed the entire universe into being through the orgasmic rhythms of Her Womb. There was no "making" here. It was an organic process filled with every experience and emotion along the spectrum of life, expanding into the the whole of Her. The original cauldron, cup, chalice is Her Womb. And I was birthed as one of Hers. Just because I exist. There is no entry fee, no book, no sacrifices, and no heroes journey required to be made worthy to know and walk with Her.
I needed nothing but myself. All of myself. My warrioress was as welcome as my lover self was. I unfold to reveal more of myself and Her everyday. As I blossom some old petals wither. Yet, being a Goddessian allows for many deaths, lives, stasis, and differences. The list is endless. She is ever present and always changing. She is alive. And cannot be contained.
Bridget Robertson
Texas
This is an ongoing collective writing project, initiated by Magoism: The Way of S/He and Mother Tree Sanctuary in response to the question, "Why Goddess Feminism, Activism, or Spirituality?" We will feature different women's answers here and on the Magoism blog in the months to come as part of this project.
Contributions are welcome. Please email magoism@gmail.com or join the discussion on the Magoism group on Facebook.
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