Friday, February 28, 2014

Re-defining “Honor Thy Mother and Father” in the new paradigm


“Honor thy mother and father,” says the commandment.

Young children are biologically pre-disposed to revere and honor their parents in order to survive. Yet when children become adults and are capable of questioning their parents and evaluating them from an adult perspective, they may be discouraged from looking too deeply, so as not to offend the parents who have given so much for them.

Many see the act of examining one’s childhood to be avoiding adult responsibility and pointlessly dwelling on the past. Yet the epitome of not taking responsibility is refusing to deal with the pain of your childhood and then unconsciously projecting your unprocessed pain onto other people.

This can be very challenging for those of older generations who were rewarded for being silent about the truth of their pain. In generations past, the very definition of honor and responsibility involved hiding painful truths--and this worldview is still quite dominant in our world today. Some parents may unconsciously expect their adult children to be silent about their feelings because this is what was expected of them. That was how family loyalty and honor were defined. Children were to be seen and not heard. And adult children who examine their histories may be viewed with suspicion, distrust or outright scorn.

 Due to the belief that silence is honor, the old form of “honor thy mother and father” has allowed for inter-generational pain to fester and to be unconsciously passed along for centuries."


~ Womb of Light: The Work of Bethany Webster  For the full article go here 

Shared with permission of Bethany Webster.

1 comment:

  1. Here is a great story that epicts just this, being quiet about our childhood experiences:

    http://www.northcountrypublicradio.org/programs/national/thisamericanlife.html

    Scroll down to #485: Surrogates (at about 29 minutes this story starts)

    Feb 23, 2014 - This week we look at people who see themselves in others and try to live out their lives through stand-ins — including the story of what one father saw in the convicted murderer he decided to adopt. And the proxy battle over a woman’s honor that became a presidential obsession.

    Blessings, Paula

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