Friday, September 20, 2013
"Pretty" doesn't come cheap.
I received notice that my copy of Feminine Transitions is on it's way to me today. I have been anxiously awaiting this book for several years now. While I have yet to meet Alyscia in person, we have developed an amazing friendship and support system over that time via the Internet. She has been one of my most devoted fans and cheerleaders - and I hope I have been the same to her.
I was instantly in love with her project because it has been something I have been contemplating for some time myself. For most of my life, my highest priority was being considered pretty.
Fortunately, my parents also stressed smarts and spirituality, but if I'm honest with myself, I'd have to say that pretty always came first.
And "pretty" doesn't come cheap.
It took me about 35 years to stop believing that was my highest value as a woman and that I had other things to offer the world.
Yesterday, I was thinking to myself that I felt lucky that I have a husband who loves me with my gray hair and without the makeup that used to adorn my face.
But then I caught myself.
How is that luck?
First of all, I was very intentional about choosing my husband this time.
Secondly, shouldn't unconditional love be a given in your primary relationship?
Sadly, it doesn't seem to be. More often than not, women are valued as ornaments, not for who they are as human beings.
Lauren Bacall is quoted as saying, "I think your whole life shows in your face and you should be proud of that." How right she is!
I also want to touch on something that has been eating at me for a while. Which is, why don't women support each other more?
We will always be considered inferior to men if we don't bind together and re-discover our power. Since we are behind in nearly every way economically, that means that we must carefully consider what money we do have.
When we give up this idea of our primary importance being how we look, we stop buying into all the makeup, hair products, new clothes, etc that cost us thousands of dollars every year. We are talking about a 7 Billion dollar a year industry in the United States alone that profits off of women feeling bad about themselves.
I don't spend money on most of that any more. What I do is spend any extra money I have on supporting women's projects, books and CD's.
It is critically important that we support each other spiritually, emotionally and economically.
I often hear women say that they don't have money to buy a book or to support a project. But then I see those same women in new clothes or going out to eat all the time.
We certainly can spend our money however the hell we want to.
However, I hope we will also consider how those expenditures impact us and others around us. Buying a book is an investment in yourself, your children and your grandchildren. It also supports a dream-project that empowers other women and enables the dreamer to continue her work.
Eating out is nice, and sometimes, necessary. But a meal won't last you the rest of your life.
Given our fantastic body fluctuations as women, neither will our clothes.
And, makeup, like most beauty products, expires.
I wrote about this in more detail last year: Did I shave my pits for this?
So please, support a woman today - any woman! With half the budget for food stamps cut yesterday, women and children are going to need that money more than ever. And we are going to have to fill that gap ourselves somehow.
In any case, that's my sermon for today! If nothing else, please give it some thought - and spread the word about Alyscia's project!