Friday, December 27, 2013

Female Orgasm is a Human Right **Trigger Warning


Several weeks ago I came across this video on "The Female Orgasm Law".  It's a comedy but sparked some interesting discussion with my dear friend Liz Hall Magill.  

Many people are not aware that in Islam, the man is supposed to ensure the woman orgasms first.  So, although I am no longer practicing much of the Muslim religion, this is something that has always stuck with me - and something I expect from my partner.

I consider orgasm a human right. 

I think it's also important to consider how many women don't enjoy their sexuality or orgasm because of the various forms of abuse we suffer throughout our lifetimes. 

It's something women don't often think about because (like so many other things) we are so often excluded from it. But how often do men have sex without an orgasm? 

Mutual (consensual) orgasm should be part of all partnerships. 

We must begin to teach our daughters to love and celebrate their bodies and their sexualities. So often girls grow up surrounded by shame - whether it is about their changing bodies, their blood or masturbation - we still don't allow girls the same freedom we grant boys.  

Current U.S. rape statistics tell us that 
  • 44 percent of victims are under the age of 18. 
  • 15 percent of sexual assault and rape victims are under age 12. 
  • Girls ages 16 to 19 are four times more likely than the general population to be victims of rape, attempted rape or sexual assault.
And 97 percent of rapists will never spend one day in jail.

It is critical to mention that most of our rapists are men that we know, and not strangers.

In addition to the obvious trauma during and immediately following a rape, the long-term effects of rape are difficult to overcome.

Victims of sexual assault are:

  • Three times more likely to suffer from depression.
  • Six times more likely to suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder.
  • 13 times more likely to abuse alcohol.
  • 26 times more likely to abuse drugs.
  • Four times more likely to contemplate suicide.
I’d also venture to say that women who have been raped have a much harder time coming to terms with their own sexuality and the sense of joy and pleasure that should go along with it. That is something that is very difficult to quantify. 

What is your sexuality worth to you?

Often we hear economics cited as the reason why rape kits are not processed, but what is the cost to the victim for years of therapy? What are the costs of never getting therapy?

Why are victims forced to pay these costs? This is just as crazy as asking them to pay for their own rape kits.

How would you feel if you were flooded with fear during intercourse instead of pleasure?

How would you feel if you could never achieve orgasm?

Why is the rapist’s so-called need for immediate release more important than the victim’s long-term sexual and mental health?

What can we do to ensure the sexual health of our girls throughout their lifetimes

Our sexuality has the potential for bringing some of the greatest joys in our life, but also the deepest wounds. My hope for all girls is for us to live in a world where sex only equals pleasure.

We must find better solutions to stop the incest, trafficking and rape of girls and women. We must place a higher priority of the sexual satisfaction of women - and this starts with how we treat girls from the get-go.


I started this blog post several weeks ago and have not had the time to finish it, but I wanted to put it out there. I hope you will share your comments and experiences here.Together, I hope we can find solutions. 

And, I am aware that boys are also molested and raped, but this post is specific to girls.  

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