Acting Deferentially




“Acting deferentially, which means suppressing our feelings and thoughts, is something we do in the presence of power that could be used against us. … We fear the consequences of not responding as we are expected to and so learn to adapt by doing this rather than act on what we authentically feel. This is the basis of codependent behavior.”

~Jean Shinoda Bolen, MD, The Ring of Power: The Abandoned Child, the Authoritarian Father, and the Disempowered Feminine

Painting by Elisabeth Slettnes


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